Sunday, August 28, 2011

Test Your Eyes.

My wife noticed this parrot (or the parrot like bird) enjoying the guava fruit in our neighbour's compound. It was a test for my eyes (with glasses of course) as well as my hand - to hold the camera steady at full zoom. Both the organs passed. it was a test for my camera too, to get the bird at about thirty feet and it passed.

Now, test your eyes with the first picture and if you fail, look at the second just below the vertical arm of the hanging electric cable. Go back to the first picture and try to find the bird in the same place with its tail towards me. if you fail again, get an appointment with the ophthalmologist.

PS : No commission has been promised to me by any eye doctor.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

At The Ramlila Maidan

I am at the Ramlila Maidan in Delhi. There are lakhs of people. The atmosphere is charged. What excitement! What support! School and college students, Mumbai dabbawaalaas, Cine actors, traders and businessmen, advocates, doctors, senior citizen groups, you name them and they are there. There were people in fancy dress, people holding comic posters , music and dance. It was somewhat like Goa during Carnival. Only booze was missing. I got carried away. I shouted all the slogans. Even Bharat maata ki jai and Vande mataram - at the cost of inviting Imam Bukhari’s wrath and having a ‘Fatwa’ on my head. I had to display my support to Anna. But I was not sure what we were doing there. So I asked someone who had taken a break and was enjoying his free lunch.

He looked at me as if I was the ‘C’ in corruption. “We are doing something to kill the demon called corruption. Squash corruption into dust. It should not raise its head once again.”

“Which corruption?”

“Don’t you know corruption? Where do you live? Mars? Haven’t you heard of Kalmadi? Raja? Kanimozi? Hundreds and thousands of crores of rupees. Disgusting.”


“By forcing the government to manufacture the ‘ Brahmaastra ‘ against corruption, the Jan Lokpal bill. It will kill corruption completely”

“But are you sure that you really intend eradicating corruption?”

“What do you mean? Why will we be here otherwise? We are fed up with corruption and we will surely eliminate it under Anna’s leadership “

“All types of corruption? At all levels?”

“Yes Yes and Yes”

I could feel all ‘Y’s capital, the way he said it. I should have understood the mood, enjoyed the lunch and carnival for some more time, and returned home after playing my part. But the cynic in me was fidgeting. So, I asked again.

“We are here to remove all corruption from our country. Rright? Now Let us assume that you have to get a residence certificate from the tehsildar. You have almost all the documents like your ration card, your father’s birth certificate, grand father’s death certificate, your school leaving certificate etc etc but you still have one or two missing without which you are not entitled to get your certificate. Do you want the clerk to insist that you produce them or accept a hundred or two as a token of good will and quietly type out the certificate?”

He looked at me piercingly. I continued at the cost of my head getting an entry and exit wound.

“With lot of difficulty you have purchased a small piece of land and intend starting construction of your dream house. Your plan is ready and is sent for approval. The municipal engineer has raised one hundred and twenty three objections. Would you rather erase the plan and comeback with one which sticks to rules than pay a few thousands of convenience fee to make the engineer close his eyes while he signs on your plan?”

“Hey, don’t spoil the mood by bringing up irrelevant topics when we are preparing for a long and tough fight with the government”

But I was in my pestering mood and so I continued without hearing the warning. “ You are a busy businessman and cannot keep track of all the business transactions. Some of the transactions escape your attention when you send your files to the sales tax or income tax or some other tax. But the official there somehow smells them out and pesters you for an explanation. Would you rather pay a hefty penalty than slipping a packet of grease to lubricate the palms of the official to make the file slip off?”

“Who let this fellow in here? Creating a nuisance when we are in serious fight with corruption. Kick him out of the grounds”

I was being kicked and pushed and I was trying my best to hold on to the Ramlila grounds. I was losing and I woke up.

“Why can’t you sleep on your side of the bed. You roll around like a child. Where am I expected to sleep” my wife managed to push me aside and regain her part of the bed.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Post for the day

“Nine parties call for nationwide agitation.”

“Varun Gnadhi calls for stronger Lokpal bill”

“Parrikar (Goa BJP leader) promises to pass Lokayukta bill within one month -if brought to power”

Opposition parties are keen on making best use of the situation. They will turn the agitation into a political tamasha and I can see calls for state bundhs and Bharat bundh coming. People are charged and will get carried away by “action”. Road blocks, rail roko, setting fire to buses will follow. A good movement will end up as a nuisance.

Anna Hazare, in his first televised call said “Let there be no damage to private or public property. Let there not be any violence. There should not be any inconvenience to public”. But these are sensible and very tame words. We are not interested in them. Hope Anna will not repent beginning this.

Two cricket jokes on SMS I liked.

“Annaji, thanks for taking the limelight away from the India- England series” - M S Dhoni.

“I will watch 'Lagaan' today. That is the only way I can see India winning against England.”

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Letter To Editor

Had to write this letter to the editor to get some of the irritation caused by the photographs of our political leaders speaking at the rally in support of anti corruption movement, out of my system.

It was disgusting to see our BJP leaders taking part in the anti corruption rally at Azad Maidan. What hypocrisy! I appreciate their guts making long speeches and promises against corruption while being part of the party which is famous for providing one of the most corrupt governments Karnataka has seen.

If they are sincere to the movement, they should participate only as citizens without mentioning their party. If they are sincere to the party they should issue a disclaimer stating that they are doing their best to get as much political mileage as possible out of the popular movement, and that their words should not be taken at face value.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Dane Dane Pe Likha Hai Khanewale ka naam

I planted a Chikoo (Sapodilla, Sapota) sapling in front of my house about four years back. It had a better fate than the other plants and now I can call it a small tree. Last year we got about half a dozen fruits. This year there were hundreds of buds. As they flowered and small fruits appeared I could not help hoping for a feast. The fruits grew in size and just as I put my tongue out to lick my lips in anticipation, the group of monkeys descended from nowhere and attacked the tree. They ignored our feeble attempts to shoo them off, bared their teeth, growled and intimidated us and proceeded to destroy the tree. They tore away the tender shoots, plucked the fruits, bit them and threw them down littering the ground and the ants had a good time for the next two days.

In spite of the attack quite a few young fruits remained and as they grew in size I felt that all was not lost. In my anxiety not lose more fruits to monkeys, I plucked a few which I felt were mature and kept them for ripening. They either shriveled and dried up or rotted. I left the remaining on the tree to ripen and vowed to offer half the yield to Lord Hanuman if he kept his troop away from my tree. He obliged. The young fruits were maturing and I had identified about a dozen as suitable for plucking soon but then every morning I found one or two of them hanging half eaten on the tree. I thought it to be some bird but one of my patients who saw the half eaten fruits said that it is the fruit bat’s work and advised me to pluck the remaining fruits before the bats finished them off.

This morning when I came out for my walk, I saw this fruit on one of the lower branches probably just after the bat had had its fill and left. By the time I returned from my walk the Bul Bul was flying around the fruit. When I came back with the camera the bird was not there but it was time for the wasp and fruit flies to fill their stomachs. The wasp remained on the fruit for nearly three hours. By afternoon the fruit was lying on the ground and the crow was pecking at it. I could hardly identify the fruit in the evening. It was a lump of red ants.

They say “dane dane pe likha hai khane wale ka naam” which I can translate as “Every grain bears the name of the one who gets to eat it”. My chikoo fruits have the names of monkeys, fruit bats, bul bul, wasp, fruit flies, crow and ant on them.

I plucked a few more this evening to try my luck and see if I can erase those names and put my name on them. If I fail again I will give up my claim.

After all, six species surviving on one fruit is better for this world than one species devouring hundreds.

No, the fruits are not sour. They are sweet, as honey. Really.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Kannada post.

Many of my posts in this blog are based on my experiences as a dentist. My cousin Brinda suggested, insisted, forced, got fed up and gave up her efforts to make me translate them to Kannada. I kept her suggestion in mind and have acted now. Hope she does not regret her suggestion.

If you understand the language and have patience to go through the piece, please let me know whether I can translate others, whether I should stick to English or stick to dentistry just as a profession to earn my bread.

Tried to post it on my kannada blog but transliteration is not co operating. Hence this. Please bear.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Sonia's Surgery

Sonia Goes abroad for surgery - hospital, ailment kept secret. Today’s front page.
Very sensible.

If our channels get a hint as to where she is or what is wrong, we will be in for an analysis of the situation which will go on for the next fifteen days.

We have already learnt enough anatomy and surgery thanks to Vajapayee’s knees, Manmohan Singh’s heart, Sachin Tendulkar’s shoulder and Amitabh Baccahn’s intestines.

We can do without dissection of more celebrity organs.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

New Karnataka CM - 'Vastu' compliant.

The new Chief Minister of Karnataka offered ‘puja’ and prayers to Lord Ganesh at his official residence this morning. Understandable. Later, his ‘Vastu’ consultant spoke and claimed that it was because of the alterations that he brought about in the residence of the new CM at his earlier residence in his constituency, (New CM was party president, then) that the BJP became a coalition partner in the JDS govt and then gained power on its own. He said that he had already made the BJP office in Bangalore ‘Vastu’ compliant and that the same will be done to the official residence of the new CM. He claimed that enough alterations would be done to keep BJP in power for the next 10-15 years. (Why not the next 100-150 years? - I wonder)

I had thought that the era of tertiary level of superstition ended with the exit of Yedyurappa, but no. We are in for much more. I hear through my extra sensory auditory senses that a ‘Vastu’ section is likely to be started in the Karnataka PWD and the CM’s Vastu consultant may be the Chief Vastu engineer (CVE for short) of the section. There will be all categories of ‘Vastu’ engineers like JE (Vastu), AE (Vastu), EE (Vastu) etc etc, all PWD works are to get OK from the respective 'Vastu' JE, AE, EE etc depending up on the category of work and if necessary the KRS and the Bangalore metro would be demolished and rebuilt after making the plans Vastu complinat.

The TV channels which have nothing better to do zoomed in for the ‘Puja’ and the interview of the ‘Vastu’ consultant and people who have nothing better to do watched and wrote about it.