Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Politically Correct Course of Pranayama




A Pranayama course was going on in our sports ground.  About a hundred people were sitting cross legged on the ground in the semi darkness, shivering slightly in the early morning chill. I was walking along the walking track next to the ground and could hear over the loud speaker, the trainer talking. He was talking about the benefits of Pranayama, pausing every two to three minutes to demonstrate ‘Kapalbhati’. (trademark owned by Patanjali)  That is the usual pattern. I have attended these courses and know how it goes. It is somewhat like this. 

talk….talk….talk….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….talk….talk….talk….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….blah….blah….blah….ugh….ugh….ugh…. ugh….ugh….ugh….   If you haven’t attended any Patanjali pranayama course till now, do attend one. It is fun.

According to Baba Ramdev,  “Kapalbhati”  is the sure shot remedy for any and every ailment known to mankind. It is also a sure shot remedy for ailments which are yet to be known!

If you have high blood pressure, it reduces it. If you have low blood pressure it increases it. If you have loose motions it stops it. If you have constipation it starts the process required. If you are over weight it reduces your weight, if you are under weight it increases your weight. Sugar, cholesterol etc etc are child’s play to kapalbhati. So on and so forth.  

The trainer tells these ‘facts’ in a very appealing way, explains the technique of ‘kapalbhati’ and demonstrates it.  The desciples try to follow and learn.  (Actually it does not matter whether they learn or not as about 90% of the people who attend the course do not care to practice it later!) They are given a few minutes to practice and the talk starts again. This process goes on for an hour and the day’s session ends.

Whenever anyone speaks about Yoga, Pranayama, Ayurveda etc etc it is customary to exalt the virtues of these practices, which were said to have been (by default!) part of our daily life in the good old days, and decry everything supposedly ‘modern’. As I completed the third round the trainer started on these lines.

“In the good old days people used to eat what was grown locally and we were healthy. Now we eat everything brought from out side, full of fertilisers and pesticides and we are always ill” 

“In the good old days we used home remedies and local herbs to cure our illness. Now we run to a doctor for every minor ailment and swallow chemicals.”

“In the good old days we did our house work like sweeping, washing, drawing water etc etc and we remained fit. Now we have machines or employ others to do them and lose out on the benefits of such work.”

At this stage he got carried away with the good old days - modern days comparison and said,

“In the good old days we cooked and ate inside the house and went to toilet out side the house. Now, we eat out side and go to toilet inside the house”

Just as he said the last word he realized that he was talking against the ‘Open defecation free India’ initiative of our beloved PM, a political blunder from the point of view of his organization and tried his best to cover it

“Of course one has to use a toilet inside the house but one should stop eating fast foods and other stuff cooked out side which are harmful to health!”

I could visualize Baba Ramdev nodding his head in approval!

Note : Before the practitioners/followers of Yoga, Pranayaama, Kapalbhati and Baba allow their sentiments to get hurt, I would like to state that I am a staunch supporter/practitioner  of Yoga and Kapalbhati.  I have been practicing yoga for fifty years and have reached the stage of three hundred Kapalbhati a day. (It is just an ignorable side fact that I also take one tablet of Atorec 10 mg everyday to keep my cholesterol in check!)


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