Politically Correct Course of Pranayama

A Pranayama course was going on in our sports ground.  About a hundred people were sitting cross legged on the ground in the semi darkness, shivering slightly in the early morning chill. I was walking along the walking track next to the ground and could hear over the loud speaker, the trainer talking. He was talking about the benefits of Pranayama, pausing every two to three minutes to demonstrate ‘Kapalbhati’. (trademark owned by Patanjali)  That is the usual pattern. I have attended these courses and know how it goes. It is somewhat like this. 

talk….talk….talk….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….talk….talk….talk….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….ugh….blah….blah….blah….ugh….ugh….ugh…. ugh….ugh….ugh….   If you haven’t attended any Patanjali pranayama course till now, do attend one. It is fun.

According to Baba Ramdev,  “Kapalbhati”  is the sure shot remedy for any and every ailment known to mankind. It is also a sure shot remedy for ailments which are yet to be known!

If you have high blood pressure, it reduces it. If you have low blood pressure it increases it. If you have loose motions it stops it. If you have constipation it starts the process required. If you are over weight it reduces your weight, if you are under weight it increases your weight. Sugar, cholesterol etc etc are child’s play to kapalbhati. So on and so forth.  

The trainer tells these ‘facts’ in a very appealing way, explains the technique of ‘kapalbhati’ and demonstrates it.  The desciples try to follow and learn.  (Actually it does not matter whether they learn or not as about 90% of the people who attend the course do not care to practice it later!) They are given a few minutes to practice and the talk starts again. This process goes on for an hour and the day’s session ends.

Whenever anyone speaks about Yoga, Pranayama, Ayurveda etc etc it is customary to exalt the virtues of these practices, which were said to have been (by default!) part of our daily life in the good old days, and decry everything supposedly ‘modern’. As I completed the third round the trainer started on these lines.

“In the good old days people used to eat what was grown locally and we were healthy. Now we eat everything brought from out side, full of fertilisers and pesticides and we are always ill” 

“In the good old days we used home remedies and local herbs to cure our illness. Now we run to a doctor for every minor ailment and swallow chemicals.”

“In the good old days we did our house work like sweeping, washing, drawing water etc etc and we remained fit. Now we have machines or employ others to do them and lose out on the benefits of such work.”

At this stage he got carried away with the good old days - modern days comparison and said,

“In the good old days we cooked and ate inside the house and went to toilet out side the house. Now, we eat out side and go to toilet inside the house”

Just as he said the last word he realized that he was talking against the ‘Open defecation free India’ initiative of our beloved PM, a political blunder from the point of view of his organization and tried his best to cover it

“Of course one has to use a toilet inside the house but one should stop eating fast foods and other stuff cooked out side which are harmful to health!”

I could visualize Baba Ramdev nodding his head in approval!

Note : Before the practitioners/followers of Yoga, Pranayaama, Kapalbhati and Baba allow their sentiments to get hurt, I would like to state that I am a staunch supporter/practitioner  of Yoga and Kapalbhati.  I have been practicing yoga for fifty years and have reached the stage of three hundred Kapalbhati a day. (It is just an ignorable side fact that I also take one tablet of Atorec 10 mg everyday to keep my cholesterol in check!)

Genes Do Matter

My wife has a reasonably good ( I may call it large, but I will not do so as I do not intend hurting sentiments)  collection of hand bags. All of them carefully picked after painstakingly going through innumerable such pieces displayed in windows, arranged on shelves, hung on hooks, stacked on foot paths etc etc in Goa, Bengaluru, Chennai, Pune, Mumbai and Michigan. And (it has been drilled into my head repeatedly) there is a purpose behind every single procurement. Few of them might also have been picked up because they were on a discount, which is a very very sound reason to buy a bag.

They occupy the top two shelves in her wardrobe and tend to fall over my head whenever I open the door. And open that door, I have to. Because somehow a missing cap, belt or a jacket of mine have been found to have reached there even though they do not have any right or business. Also, some of the things commonly used by the whole family, like the scissors, nail cutter, needle and thread and safety pins etc are usually found in the lower shelves of the same wardrobe.

The following are the utterances she is used to hearing whenever me or my son open that wardrobe.

"Oh God, why do you need so many bags? keep half a dozen if you must, and throw the remaining  out"

"What is this nonsense? If you keep filling the house with bags, shortly we will have to look for another house to live"

"Bags seem to be the major investment in our family"

"You complain that there is no place for the clothes. Why don't you dump this junk in the loft?"

After experiencing the result of my careless utterances, I have tried to control the natural urge and say something good about the bags but have not been able to bring out anything better than "oh" and "ah".

Last week our niece visited us. She inadvertently opened the wardrobe and had a shower of bags. I was reading the news paper in the next room. The following are the excited remarks that I heard.


"Oh, aunty!  what a collection! I want to see everyone of them in detail!

"How cute!!! where did you get this?"

"What a pretty colour! It goes so well with your blue saree!"

"Beautiful! You can never make out it has so many compartments!"

"So elegant! But you need to wear a Mysore Silk saree with this."

"You can either hold this in your hand or hang it on your shoulder. So very convenient when you go shopping."

"Ah, you got this from US. Say that! You just can't find such things here."

Needless to say that auntie and niece spent a very enjoyable hour and a half going through the entire junk. I am sorry. Entire collection.

It needs a female gene to understand a female gene!

Repaid Kindness.

Fruits form a major part of my diet. More the merrier. If there is nothing else, at least a banana is compulsory in my breakfast and dinner. My father was known for his partiality towards fruits. He would walk barefoot but would be extravagant while buying fruits. He always bought the best. Like all 60+ people I make the statement “these days I have not even seen fruits of such a quality as those which my father used to bring when we were children” and I mean it. May be the affinity is in the genes.

When we shifted to this place, where we have little bit of space around the house, I planted few fruit bearing trees. I watered and manured them, pruned them, protected them from cattle and in general took care of them. Now they have grown up and are yielding. Every morning I spend a few minutes searching for fruits hidden among the leaves. I do get some, now and then. Sri Krishna in his Bhagavadgeeta says “ma phaleshu kadachana - You are not entitled to the fruits of your labour”, meaning, don’t expect any fruits from your labour. He probably never planted trees. He was a cowherd. If you have planted a tree, you can’t help searching for fruits. As I understand, he meant "ma phaleshu kadachana" in a broader spiritual sense and I accept that his advice is sound. I try to adhere to it in other facets of life, but ignore it while looking for fruits in the tree.

Some of the trees which have given me satisfactory returns are the Chikoo, Guava, Plantains and Coconut. The chikoo is now a full grown tree and is the best of the lot. In fact I just got quite a few last week. I have purchased a contraption for plucking the ones that are beyond reach. It is being put into good use and I am able to lay my hands on what was earlier the confirmed share of fruit bats and birds.

Papaya is one fruit which is liked by everyone at home but I have not been able to grow it successfully. I did plant some but it is impossible to protect them from monkeys. Monkeys love papaya and they don’t  wait for the fruits. They just tear away the tender leaves and twigs and eat them. My plants never had a chance to grow. One or two of them escaped the monkey’s attention but still had a stunted growth and  grudgingly gave out some fruits little bigger than a lemon. I was disappointed. We don’t get good variety of papayas in the market these days. All that we get are the ones which I have  shown here.

They look diseased and are tasteless. They never ripen well. A part of the fruit is still unripe when the other side is already starting to rot. And depending on your luck you may find  one among the ten really worth eating. I buy them as there is no alternative. Good papayas are not available in the market even if you are ready to pay a price for them.

A man came to the clinic few days back complaining of a terrible toothache and begging me to remove the offending tooth. Since it was not possible to remove the tooth then and there, I advised him to take some medications and  comeback after a few days. He enquired about my fee but did not appear to be strong enough to bear the load of my fees as well as the cost of medicines. So, I waived my fees off. You may consider it a kindness if you so wish.

I saw him standing in front of my house early in the morning two days later when I returned from my walk. I told him that he is too early for his extraction and asked him to come a little later.  He said that he has no pain at all and did not want the tooth removed. He handed me a plastic bag and left in a hurry. I was overjoyed to find in the bag among half a dozen plantains, a nice plump papaya with a blemishless yellowish orange skin, fully ripe and just right to be cut. It contained a thick, creamy and sweet pulp and it was years since we had got such a tasty fruit. It made our morning breakfast and my day! I have saved to seeds to make another attempt at growing papayas.

I had mentioned about my kindness towards the man. I consider my kindness repaid many times over!

IFFI 2017 - A grouchy old man's wrong notes.

During my visit to Panaji yesterday, I saw the frantic preparations going on around our capital, Panaji, for the 48th IFFI.  Panaji roads were having a hurried hot mixing, some hurried construction work to ‘beautify’ the city  and other arrangements to successfully host the Film Festival. Shah rukh Khan came, Smriti Irani came, Sridevi came and a glamorous opening ceremony was held at the Shyama Prasad Mukherjee Stadium. We are spending crores of rupees to showcase our small state as a place to keep in mind, when the question of holding big festivals comes up. A proud moment for all citizens like you and me.

Overwhelmed with the greatness of our state which has hosted more than a dozen IFFIs, I wrote the above lines. Then I thought for a moment. Thought for another moment. Yet another moment. But no. I did not know the purpose of holding an international film festival! Have you any idea? Don’t tell me you are as ignorant as me. I thought my friends are much better. You see, a man is known by the company he keeps and I don’t want the company I keep to be as bad as I am!  Anyway, since there was no one knowledgeable around to answer my question, I went to the greatest guru of all. The guru with a big G. He/she said  - I quote - “the festival aims at providing a common platform for the cinemas of the world to project the excellence of the film art; contributing to the understanding and appreciation of film cultures of different nations in the context of their social and cultural ethos; and promoting friendship and cooperation among people of the world”

Now look at me. The excellence of the film art has been projected forty eight times since I was twelve years old, fourteen of them just a stone throw away from me, (with lots of noise, fanfare and of course, expenditure) and I have never noticed it! Nor have I any understanding of the film cultures in the context of social and cultural ethos of the countries around the world, in spite of my government trying to educate me by bringing those films close to me by spending crores! And I never saw any increase in friendship and cooperation between me and other distant inhabitants of this world!  I am a real frog in the well if ever there was one.

I hope, you my friends, are better than me and have absorbed all the above knowledge and if yes, please explain to me, in simple words, what you have seen and learnt.

As far as I am concerned, a movie or a film is produced by a producer to make some money. A director directs it to make his money. An actor acts in it to make his (lots, as I hear) money. The movie is distributed by a distributor and is projected in a theater by people who are interested in raking up their share of money. I, when I have nothing else to do and have money to spare, (and  lose my mind because of that) pay through my nose, go, see, whistle, laugh and cry and come back thinking that the money was well spent and that I have been entertained well. Me, who paid and all those who earned, are quits.

If someone ( like the above mentioned movie connected fellows) intends achieving all the above mentioned blah blah blah goals and have a happy time for a week in the bargain, they are welcome to spend their money and have a good time. Why should I pay for their education and an opportunity for our politicians to pose with the filmy glitz?

If I did not learn something in forty eight years even after my government putting in its best efforts, I am not going to learn it. It is high time my government stopped spending my money to make me understand and appreciate “film cultures of different nations in the context of their social and cultural ethos; and promoting friendship and cooperation among people of the world” .

Amthanem Dam - October 2017

Last weekend we went for a overnight stay near the Amthanem dam in Goa. The water from the reservoir flows out through a private property and the owner has walled the sides of the canal to make it a pool and has built some cottages next to it. It is somewhat remote and quite pleasant. It was already dark when we reached there and we could not see either the dam or the surroundings. Hence we cooked our semi prepared food and sat around the table which contained the ingredients required to make the evening pleasant, trying our best to ensure that we leave the place with lighter bags and heads. I set out early next morning and spent about an hour walking around the dam. The following pictures are taken during the walk.

I walked over the embankment before sunrise when it was just light enough to see around.

Followed the pathway at the end of the dam to reach the Amthanem Village.

When I returned, the sun was rising over the reservoir.

The narrow road on the embankment. 

My friends posed for me.

A view of the place where we stayed. 

The pool which contains plenty of fish which give you a free pedicure. 

(Un) Lucky 7

More and more problems that the casino vessel Lucky seven faces, the more and more pleased I am!  I believe this mentality of deriving pleasure from other’s misfortune, is called Schadenfreude. Tongue twisting and difficult to spell. But I am that - as far as the lucky seven is concerned. Someone has simplified the word to ‘eviljoy’. Not proper english but gives the proper meaning.

Coming to casinos, it is not just the Lucky Seven that I hate. I hate all casinos. I mean all of those which are cluttering the Mandovi. I would be very happy to read in the newspapers one morning “All Casinos in Mandovi sink”. It would be a nightmare for salvagers but it is OK. I would go there as a volunteer to help.

Now, please don’t read me wrong. I am not against gambling or against any other vice for that matter. I am for all of them and rue the fact that I do not have any! In fact I feel a vice in an otherwise blemishless (or seemingly blemishless) person enhances the stature. Like a dash of black on the Wimbledon player’s shorts and shoes. What I am against is the off shore casinos which have marred the beautiful view of river Mandovi and are polluting it.

If what I read in the newspapers is right, the Goan society in general is against casinos in the river. The government initially agreed with the sentiment and promised to kick them out but now it says that no new licences would be given. Meaning, the half a dozen which are already in, would be there for ever. And no new licences would be issued because there is just no space to put another ship there!

In spite of that, our intelligent CM allowed the entry of one more, the Unlucky seven, into Mandovi and claimed that  he is just following the high court order. He wisely masked the fact that the high court ordered the entry on technical grounds like the government accepting the licence fee but keeping the file pending. Then he further justified his action saying that the state needs the revenue generated by these casinos. If it is the revenue that matters and not the way it is generated, I suggest that we allow off shore massage parlours also along the Mandovi and I assure our CM that they would generate even more revenue!

All this thoughts about casinos came out because when I read the news of this Lucky7, driven by a storm, landing on Miramar beach instead of anchoring in Mandovi - my first thought was that it was not a storm that pushed it there but the collective ill will of the citizens of Goa. If there is something called will power which can make the impossible possible, is it not possible that a collective will power could shove a vessel off its course? Now it seems that the vessel has developed a hole in the bottom. It is not likely to arrive in the Mandovi soon. I wish the vessel more and more trouble and request like minded citizens to add their will power to my wish!

Sarzora Lake - A Short Outing.

It is weeks or may be months since I found something to write about and put it here. I still haven't found anything worthwhile but we visited a man made lake today, the surroundings of which was very appealing. I took some pictures and posted them here. Instead of just posting the pictures wrote  few lines too, just to retain the touch.  

Rainy season is my favourite season.  When it starts raining in Goa, it usually goes on for weeks. You wont find one dry spot anywhere around the house, washed clothes remain wet for days, at least a dozen varieties of insects and worms would be crawling all over our front yard, my patients step gingerly on the algae covered side walk and we never get a chance to fold our umbrellas. 

It is the peak rainy season now but we are yet to witness what we can call a good pour. It hasn’t rained for more than half an hour at a stretch. Needless to say my spirits are low. It has been raining sporadically, the surroundings are greener and weather somewhat bearable. But that’s it.

We decided to make the best of a dry evening and went to see a man made lake which my son had visited earlier and found to be worth another visit. The place is Sarzora, about half way between Margao and Quepem. I was hoping to see a overflowing lake but it was not so. Still, there was some water in it and the surroundings were green and picturesque. It is not very well known and hence devoid of water bottles and beer cans. (I have nothing against beer drinkers but hate their ability to select the best of naturally beautiful places and destroy the beauty in the shortest possible time by filling it with empty beer cans.)

I hope against hope that people remain sensible and allow the place to remain as it is. The house by the way is a classic old house which we saw on the way. I envy the people who get to live there but not the trouble they have to face in maintaining it as to make  people like me, more so my son, go gaga.