mobile phone

I have four signboards in my waiting room. Both in English and local language.
Kindly leave your footwear outside.
Please do not spit in the premises. Use the wash basin.
Kindly be present ten minutes before the appointed time.
Kindly switch off your mobile before entering the clinic.

All the requests get the same response that are reserved for “do not walk on grass” or “please stand in queue”.
Still the first one is given some regard. May be because it is a tradition to leave the footwear before entering any house and my dental clinic looks like a house from the outside. Not just looks like, it is a part of my house.
To enforce the second one it is a bit more difficult because we are used to spitting from windows, Balconies, and doorways of our own homes (leave alone public places) on to any other place not our own and some hardcore spitters do not mind even their own place. (is that also our tradition?) still any one would think twice before spitting on a spotless surface and I try to maintain my surroundings spotlessly clean. And I do not hesitate to give a harsh dressing down when I catch anyone redhanded. My status as the doctor to whom they have come for treatment bails me out from any harsh retaliations they may be inclined to.
I try my best to enforce the third by instilling the fear that I may not be able to carry out any treatment if one is late, and they may have to live with the pain for few more days. But once I start the treatment and the pain is less, my trick does not work for subsequent appointments. Still about 40-50% of my cases do turn up on time. I accept defeat gracefully with the rest.
The fourth instruction is impossible to enforce. Unless I engage determined security staff and snatch the instruments, it will not work. The following is the usual scene in my clinic.
I have a person in my dental chair who is half dead by fear even before I start working. Eyes are screwed shut, fists are tightly closed or the hands are clenching the handle of the chair tightly. Legs are trembling. Mouth is held open with the help of my gags. Body is covered in an apron and secured at the back. I start working. Half way through the treatment his/her mobile rings. Suddenly the person is alive and wriggling. The dentist, the chair, treatment and fear are forgotten. He/she desperately tries to locate the phone and reach it, frantically struggling inside the tied apron and in the limited space allowed by the chair. The person manages to get hold of the phone and manages to take it to the ear-mouth and tries to make some noise which makes sense. I know that it is impossible. Apart from gagging the mouth I will have fixed various little instruments around his/her teeth and have been using the left over space in the mouth to store my remaining instruments. The tongue and lips can only be moved if a portion of my instruments are shifted to the throat or stomach. The person realizes this after sometime and gives up. With a sigh and feeling miserable. I watch and smile sadistically- Ignore my instructions and experience the result- is what I convey.
I was invited by a college in my city to deliver a talk on dental health for the benefit of students. I had heard that the college was very strict in enforcing “no mobiles on the campus” rule and had even succeeded. A found a hall full of bubbling youth who would rather give up their eye teeth than their mobile. In spite of the “no mobile” rule, I gave a stern warning to those who might have smuggled a phone inside, to switch the instrument off. My talk went on smoothly.
I was nearing the end when there was a loud unmistakable ringing of a mobile phone. The source was located immediately. It was MY POCKET. I can not forget the look on the face of the principal who was on the dais with me and the hundreds of sneering faces mocking from the rows of audience. But they were polite enough not to express their feelings either by words or by action.
I have tried to remove the fourth sign from the wall of my waiting room but it is struck fast. I am learning to tolerate it.