Before I write anything else, I declare that my knowledge of art is zero or less and that any feelings hurt due to the expression of my opinion here is unintended and deeply regretted. I am only expressing my ignorance  and what is written has nothing to do with the quality of art displayed in the Kala Academy, Panjim - Goa.

My wife had some work in Panaji and I drove her there this morning. It is the year end, a time when people go crazy over Goa for reasons best known to them. To top it Panaji is hosting the 46th IFFI followed by the feast of St Francis Xavier. Needless to say that the city is overflowing. All the roads are jammed and no place even to park your legs. I dropped her on the road in front of the place she intended reaching and drove around Panjim searching for a place to park the car. Found a place two kilometers away from the spot I had dropped my wife - at the Kala Academy, Panaji.  

Other than promoting art and culture the Kala Academy serves the humanity through two very useful ways. It has lot of parking space which is freely available for parking when there are no programmes in the academy and it has very decent toilets. Having parked my car in the parking lot, I walked in. The academy building was being 'done up' to host the forthcoming Film festival. I walked around watching the work going on, used the toilet and was walking towards the canteen  when I came up on some art work in metal which have been installed near the canteen. As mentioned earlier I can’t recognize a piece of art even when it is labeled and placed in front of me. Since these were placed at strategic locations in the Kala Academy building and had a brass plaque in front of them giving the name of the art and the artist I think they are valuable pieces of art. For my untrained eyes they look like random selections from a scrap yard welded together. But the trained eyes in the academy must have chosen them carefully, paid good money and installed them there. Here they are.

This is the first one placed near the entrance to the hall that attracted my attention. According to the plaque it is a 'Dancing girl'. To my eyes it does not look like a girl and if it is one certainly she is not dancing. By stretching whatever imagination I have at my disposal, I may call it a two legged being which has undergone some surgery to set right broken hands and the surgery has gone wrong. 

This is called 'Goat'. I would be happy if someone can explain to me why it is a goat and not a wolf, dog or a deer. I wouldn't suggest a cow because once you call it a cow, you can't dismantle and dispose it off. 

I did not find a plaque before this piece of art. May be I could not make out which was the front and which was the back and was looking for a plaque on the back side. 

I like this. This is called 'Adrift artifact.' Meaning things found adrift in a junk yard (?). I would have made it better by adding 'welded' to the name. A honest piece of art!

There were many  more but since I did not carry my camera and since my mobile phone is just that and not a good camera I did not take more pictures. 

After going through the art exhibition I must have walked in a daze for sometime and when I came to my senses I found myself at the boundary of Kala Academy, looking at this great piece of art. 

 I have a suggestion for the administration of Kala Academy. Sell the pieces as what they are - pieces of scrap, at Rs 20 a kilo.  Use a part of it to paint an arrow with the words “Art - This way” and lead the fluff headed art lovers like me to the boundary of Kala Academy from where we can witness a great art. The art of nature!

Taking one flight, Being twice foolish and passing through three security checks!

It is called the Swiss army officer’s knife or a swiss knife for short. It was a gift to me from my brother in law. He had brought it from Germany, when he went there for training thirty years back.  I had just then read about the knife in Reader’s Digest and was impressed with its quality and the effort that went into its making. If I remember right, every officer of the Swiss Army got one  knife at the time of his commissioning and it was part of his kit. So, when he asked me what I would like to have from Germany, I had asked him to get me a Swiss knife, if available and affordable. Incidentally the same evening he had seen a large scale working model of the knife in the window of a shop and he had purchased it with out looking at the price. I do not remember the price he paid for it but I know that he had to stretch his resources a bit to buy it. It has been with me ever since and has been a part of my luggage almost on every trip. Now, the red knife made by ‘Victorinox India’ is available on Flipkart in different forms to suit different budgets (Rs 250 to 5000) but it was not heard off then. This background is to explain the sentiment  attached to my Swiss knife. 

I make sure that I pack it in the check - in luggage when I take a flight but had made the mistake of  putting  it in my cabin luggage this time. So when the security officer at the Bengaluru air port called out “Sir, do you have a swiss knife in your bag?” I first said “no” and then a sheepish “yes”. My bag was handed over to me and I was asked to take the knife out.  Obviously, it was not allowed on the flight. I did not know what to do. I was in a fix and I was feeling stupid standing there holding the knife in my hand. Then the officer himself suggested that I put it in a bag that I may not need on the flight, go back to the check in counter and check the bag in. We had arrived at the airport early and we had plenty of time. We had about three hand bags with us.  I hastily selected one, took out some snacks that I had kept in it, put the knife in the bag, took it back to the check in counter and checked it in as an extra piece. I collected another boarding pass, came back, went through the security drill a second time, reached the boarding gate and sat there breathing deep.  I am always apprehensive when I go through the security check at the airports and this experience had shaken me.

I did not see my son and wife near the gate and I wanted to call them and find out where they were. Compulsion of carrying a mobile phone. It wouldn’t really matter to me where they were. They would come to the gate at boarding time. But when a phone is handy we call. It was then that I realised that my phone was not handy but was in the bag that I had checked in. And, it was not securely inside but was in the outside pouch! I had put it in the bag before passing through the security gate.  Immediately after that I also realised that I had kept my cash as well as the house keys in the same pouch just before going through the security check. All of them were now in the outer pouch of the bag which I had checked in and would freely flow out when the bag tumbled around on the luggage belt.  By then my son and wife joined me at the gate and I explained to them the foolish situation that I had put myself in. For once my wife remained calm. “Sit here and relax. If you really deserve to have the things that you have put in that bag, you will certainly get them”. My son said that since we now know that we can go back to the check in counter even after the security check, we may try to go back a second time and retrieve the phone, cash and keys.

I went back to the security area and feeling very foolish, explained my predicament to the officer there. He was very helpful. He said that I should go to the information counter, which is located in the boarding area, call the airline from there and see what they suggest. The information counter was unfortunately manned by an arrogant and adamant fellow who just tried to brush me aside saying it was too late to do anything now as the luggage would have been loaded onto the aircraft. I explained that my flight was due only after another hour and a half and that it had probably yet to land at Bangalore. I insisted that he call the airlines and allow me to talk. He grudgingly called Air Asia while I stood wondering what the response of the airlines would be.  When I got my chance, I apologetically explained the situation to the counter staff and was surprised to hear “No issues sir. You please remain wherever you are. Our staff will come and escort you back to check in counter. We will retrieve your luggage and you may take out your phone and keys. By the way, you have checked in three pieces. Which one would you like us to bring back?”  I described my bag and stood waiting.

A pleasant mannered girl arrived after ten minutes, confirmed that I was the fool who needed help and escorted me to the check in counter again. My bag was waiting on the table there. As I took out the phone, keys, loose cash and a cheque from the outer pouch of the bag they stood watching me possibly wondering how stupid one could get. I returned the almost empty bag containing my valuable knife to the counter staff, collected my third boarding pass, passed through the security check for the third time and returned to the gate beaming. 

It was an unusual experience and I wrote this to express my gratitude and appreciate the staff of Air Asia. Even though it was very foolish of me to do what I had done, they just behaved as if it was routine for people to leave their valuables in the check in luggage, unsecured, and return to the counter to retrieve them. This is also to inform anyone else who may be as stupid as I had been, that the check in, security and boarding gates are not one way (as I had thought) and that it is possible to retrace your way if necessary. You may look foolish but you can do it.

 

Audiometry

“ I have been speaking to you for the last two minutes and you are not responding at all. You have stopped hearing me’  -  this has been my wife’s complaint for over an year now.

“Oh, is it? I never heard anything. May be I am getting old”  -  My response.

“You are not getting old. You are just trying to be clever and it won’t work with me” -  My wife retorts.

This has been going on for sometime now.

Recently I had a bout of cold and fever and felt that my ear is blocked. I consulted the ENT surgeon. He did not find any block and he suggested that I undergo an audiometry test.  It was done today.

It says that there is some hearing loss but I hear better at low frequencies.

It is official now. I do not hear what my wife says and need not respond to her words. And if she is bent upon getting an answer she will have to stop shouting and speak gently (and lovingly) in a low tone!

I love Audiometry!