Selling Education

When I was in school, the schools did not advertise to get students. When they started selling education, they had to.

I started seeing

XYZ School / College  -  Well qualified and Dedicated teaching staff, Regular tests,Well stocked library, Personal attention etc etc.

Then it was

Well ventilated class rooms, Hygienic Canteen facilities and  Stress on all round development.

Then

Air conditioned hostel, internet in Library, Landscaped surroundings and so on and so forth.

Now, this school in Panjim highlights  ‘Jeans and T shirt for uniform’  but only has ‘improvised’ class rooms. (I hope at least the English teacher knows the difference between improved and improvised.)

What I suggest to other schools to beat competition.

Free mobile phone on admission and mobile charging points  on every desk.

Valentine day, Friend ship day, Rose day etc etc officially celebrated - classes off.

And if space permits,

Movie theater on campus.

Narrow Escape

Today is the Goa Panchayat (village bodies) Elections in which I was to be a candidate requesting valuable votes with folded hands. I narrowly escaped.

Wondering what went wrong with this fellow who appeared to be sane till recently?

Some time back I was talking with a likeminded friend of mine about the social and moral degradation that we are witnessing around us. After deliberating over the matter over a length of time, we concluded that 1. Our elected representatives or whom we call politicians in general , play a big role in the matter. 2. Unless we have elected representatives of good character, there will be no improvement in the situation 3. ‘Good’ people should not hesitate to enter politics 4. We the concerned citizens should not simply talk about it for ‘time pass’ but should act. And  5. We need to act from inside the system. 

Considering the last three points seriously, especially the third (!) we decided to contest  elections and thereby try our best to  improve things.

We realized that we should have come to this conclusion and begun in right earnest a few decades earlier if we ever hoped to contest an assembly or parliamentary election but thought that it is not late to have a go at the Municipal or Panchayat elections and make a beginning.

My friend resides in the municipal area where the elections are due only after another four years and so retained the right to keep talking and commenting for the next four years without presently getting into any action. I reside in the Panchayat area and the Panchayat elections were announced soon after our decision. Now, I had to prove that I was serious and so, had to contest in the elections.

I mentally went over the situation that I had put myself into and planned my approach. I did have a ‘decent’ image, I knew many of the voters who incidentally were my patients, I had done some ‘social work’ (we had a street light in our street and the road had been ‘hot mixed’ because of my efforts) and  if I could dangle some innovative carrots like ‘right to recall’ and ‘openness’ in panchayat transactions (new flavours) and if my voters did not remember the pain that they had suffered at my hands as my patients ( banking on public memory which is said to be short) I should at least be getting my deposit back.

Deciding to contest an election is one thing and actually doing so is another. As the elections were announced and nominations were invited I was getting jittery. Till date (by hook or crook) I had managed to retain a good image. People really thought that I was ‘respectable’ and ‘decent’. Should I contest a muddy election and soil that image? Won’t I be painted with all the dirty hues of a ‘politician’? In case I win I can dance even with the dirty paint on. What if lose my deposit? Can I walk straight again? What would people say? Forget about people, what would my wife say? Rather, add to all her sayings? Won’t I be handing her a Bofors to fire at me in future?

It was time to act and I could not afford these negative feelings. So I informed my wife about my decision and after getting a sarcastic “so, when are you taking oath as PM ?” I started on my way to the office of the returning officer.  I had never contested an election before and this first visit was to be a reconnoitering visit to gather information.

On the way I entered the temple to collect the blessings of god almighty like a true politician and had to stand aside (unlike a true politician) to make way for a group of ladies coming out of the temple. One of the ladies whom I recognized as my neighbour’s wife hailed me with much more cordiality than usual. “Hello doctor, nice to see you here itself. We were about to come to your place. You must have heard about the Panchayat elections. This time our ward is reserved for ladies and I am contesting. I came to offer my prayers before starting canvassing. I will visit your house but am requesting you to please support me”. She handed me a card and they left.

With the immense relief that I experienced, I was unable to put my foot forward. I sat down on the steps of 

the temple to recover. I had heard that our gods do not desert the devout but was not aware that sometimes they acted even before a seeker entered the temple. My belief in gods trebled and I returned home with a light heart after offering an extra prayer for the benefit of whoever decided to reserve our ward for ladies and save me. 

Mango Season

First few fruits of this season.  King of fruits is late this year. And few. I believe we get a good Mango harvest alternate years. This year must be lean. As a result the price is high and the fruits are beyond my reach. A dozen of good quality fruits cost about five hundred rupees and even if I make up my mind to buy, I will be anxious while cutting each one of them. Will it be rotten inside? Will it be sour? Will it be very fibrous? I usually do not get mangoes which confirm to my standards. If two fruits out of a dozen turn out bad it is nearly a hundred rupees down the drain. Taste of mango is not worth the tension. So I don’t buy. The mangos in the picture are on our table because of some good friends who have mango trees in their garden.  Good mangos and really good friends - if they could decide to part with these valuable fruits.  I have some more friends who have mango trees. If they remember me at the right time I may get a few more. I simply have to wait.

The other alternative is to pick up a stone and try to hit one of those on the tree. It is the roadside tree and every passerby has a right to them. No one will shout at me unless I hit the window pane of the house right next to the tree. But I hesitate to pick up a stone because of the following reasons.

First, the act of hitting a mango tree with stones is usually for five to fifteen year old boys and not for fifty five year old (almost senior) citizens. It will be very odd. Second, I am not sure of the quality of mangos and do not intend wasting efforts (which I can ill afford) on bad fruits. Third, I doubt if my eyes will be successful in picking the right fruits to fell. Fourth, even if my eyes pick the right one I am not sure if my hand can co ordinate with my eyes and heave a stone in the right direction. Fifth, even if they co ordinate and heave a stone in the right direction I am not sure if my shoulders co operate and  produce enough force for the stone to reach the fruit and dislocate it from the tree. Sixth, they may produce the force to dislocate the fruit but with the same force may dislocate themselves from their sockets thereby putting me out of all other actions for a few months.  All said and done it is better to act my age and just appreciate the sight rather than trying to taste and ending up with a bad taste.  

To Laugh or To Cry ?

“Congmen condemn corruption by party leaders.”

 That was the title of the article. Navhind Times 22 April 2012.

 I was happy that the party realized this fact at last. Even if it was months after the electorate brought down the congress government in Goa. I continued to read. What was written in the paper is reproduced below. In the brackets are my words.

 We never in the past saw such rampant corruption in any congress government and our plea with our leaders to arrest corruption fell on deaf ears, said a senior congress leader.

 He said that he himself had to pay lakhs of rupees to a minister to get appointment letter (for a govt job) for a senior congress leader. (Senior congress leaders should be given appointment letters, out of turn, just because they are senior congress leaders. Asking money for the favour and keeping them at par with ordinary citizens is a crime.)

 Another office bearer said that jobs were put on auction and the highest bidder (even if he was non congress) won the job. (The ministers should have accepted lower bids from congress workers in preference to the non congress higher bid )

 The concerned ministers used to directly ask for money (they should have been indirect and discreet) even from senior party workers and no concession whatsoever was given to them (Let a minister accept money, but he should at least show the courtesy of a discount to senior party workers)

- The complaints go on in the same tone. There is a proverb in Kannada- nagabeko aLabeko gottagalla- meaning, I do not know whether to laugh or to cry.

Being Stupid at 55

My sister went to the US to visit her son. Two days after reaching there she made a short call asking us to log on to ‘Skype’ for a long chat. While she was here, she would just call us from her landline or her mobile phone and talk for hours. Dollars are not as cheap as rupees and so, we have to depend on ‘Skype’ now.

I remember the days when any phone call was considered expensive and we were trying to finish all our talking with in the ‘free calls’ quota. I used to maintain a log of calls made from our P&T (now BSNL) land line and also kept an eye on the clock to note the duration of the talk in seconds. We used to write long letters and have short talks. Now we have long talks and occasionally type short messages.

So, my sister said “log on” and we logged on. My wife, who is the main speaker, was by my side. I was required to start the proceedings and hand over the mike to her.

When we operate our computer independently it works perfectly. I use it for typing letters, sending mails, posting blogs and booking railway tickets and it performs all functions without trouble. My wife calls her sister many times on ‘Skype’. They talk endlessly and also take a look at each other’s acquisitions appreciating /commenting up on, sarees, churidars, footwear, hand bags and what not. But when both of us try to do something on the computer, together, it always misfires and my wife gets fired. When we logged on to ‘Skype’ now, my sister could see us but not hear and we could hear her but not see her.

“See if you have connected the mike” my wife.

I had connected it but was not sure if I had done it right. I attached the picture of our computer here so that you understand my situation.



You see the jumble of wires running in and out of our CPU, modem, UPS, speakers so on and so forth? There is more at the back. Got what I mean? So I plucked a plug out and pushed it into another socket which accepted it. I heard my sister say “all this time I could not hear you but could lip read. Even the picture is gone now”.

“Stupid. You removed the camera plug instead of the speaker and put it elsewhere. Don’t unnecessarily meddle with things you don’t know anything about”. You are right. That was my wife complimenting me on my computer expertise.

If I took her advice I will have to give up dentistry also and I can’t afford it. (Here I would like to reproduce a quote from the French philosopher Voltaire which I saw in the book ‘Emperor of all maladies’ by Siddharth Mukherjee. A very good book about cancer written in a very much readable prose but needs an effort to read and finish. I liked it a lot - the quote I mean- and think I had mentioned it somewhere in one my posts but would like to repeat it. “doctors are people who treat diseases about which they know little, using medicines about which they know less, in human beings about whom they know nothing” I can alter it to suit my profession thus “A dentist is a person who treats teeth about which he knows little, using materials about which he knows less, in human beings about whom he knows nothing”) Sorry for the long interruption. So I ignored it (my wifes’s advice not to meddle with things I do not know about) and continued with my meddling with the connections.

I reconnected what I had disconnected and changed places of another plug which I found close at hand. A message appeared meaning something like “an internet plug is disconnected” or some such thing.

I tried bringing the plugs back into their places before my wife could put on her reading glasses and read the message and misconnected again and again with more and more disastrous results.

My wife got into a rage.

“You get out of here and allow me to do something. You don’t know what to do and do not allow others”

I had nothing more to offer and I gave up the seat. She did her own meddling and after some time the computer gave out some warnings, showed signs of collapse and the screen went blank.

My wife called my sister from her mobile at five rupees per minute and said “your brother has messed up everything. I will get the connections done after Ashwin (our son) comes home and will try to log on when your brother is in the clinic tomorrow. I will disconnect now” She managed to finish with in five rupees and stormed out.

Since I am not as big a stupid fool as to follow a hurricane, I remained seated in front of the computer and since I did not have anything to lose now, continued experimenting with it. After sometime I was fed up and so shut the computer down and started it again after a few minutes just to see what happens. It sprang back to life with all its facilities intact! I clicked on ‘Skype’, saw a flashing message which said “Reshma (my wife’s sister, also in US) on line” and clicked on her name. I heard some beeps but nothing happened. I thought that she must be busy and was about to close down as I was feeling sleepy. I yawned before shutting it down and just then saw my own face on the screen with my mouth wide open. I could even see my back teeth clearly. Our camera was on and working well! I forgot about ‘Skype’, got a bright idea of using this camera as an intraoral camera which can display the pictures of patient’s teeth on a monitor and I wanted to see how all the teeth look on screen. I kept my mouth open and holding the camera in different angles was seeing how the different teeth appear on screen when there was another beep and a message flashed on the screen.

Reshma - “I am in a meeting and all my colleagues are appreciating your teeth on my lap top”

I hurriedly took the camera away from my mouth, shut the computer down and turned to see my wife standing at my back observing my antics.

When her sister called the next morning she said “I do not know what has come over your brother in law. He is fifty five and was behaving like an immature imbecile in front of the computer, playing with the camera”

My sister in law placated her. “Let him be. No harm there. We had a good laugh at his cost. I see bigger stupids around me. At fifty five they get married for the third time here!”.

Investment Gone Sour

I got up very early this morning and was done with my ablutions, exercise and walk much before my wife was up. I know by experience that a cup of coffee prepared fresh and invested in front of her by the time she is ready to face the world returns good dividends through the day. I took out the container of milk from the fridge, removed the cream, measured out a cup and was about to pour it into the small vessel we usually use for preparing coffee. I was holding the cup full of milk in my left hand, had just placed the container of milk back on the cooking platform, and was poised for pouring milk from the cup into the vessel when a mosquito casually flew in and settled on my left elbow. Whether it was just intending to rest there for a while or it was on the lookout for an early breakfast I do not know.

My right hand received a reflex instruction ‘HIT’ and started to act. The next split second my brain realized the disastrous result of hitting a mosquito sitting on the left hand which was holding a cupful of milk (just to clear a doubt, the hand was holding the cup, not the mosquito and even if the mosquito were holding the cup the result would have been the same anyway) and it reversed the order to ‘NO’. By then the right hand was already halfway through. It tried to obey the new order but could not reverse the momentum already gained. It managed only to reduce the force of the hit.

The mosquito thought that I was just nudging it to move out as I was unable to bear its weight for long and flew out dipping its wings in what I think was a ‘thanks’ for the landing right and courtesy offered. The hit, though not enough to squash a mosquito, was enough to upset a hand holding a cup of milk and as i turned I found myself looking into the angry eyes of a wife who had to begin her day clearing a cupful of milk spreading slowly on the cooking platform.

An investment gone sour.

Thought - Post Goa Assembly elections.

BJP has got majority in the Goa assembly and will form the next government. I am sure that the BJP leaders will claim this as their ‘Victory’, ‘Mandate for good governance’, ‘People’s faith in BJP’ and what not. Let me assure them that it is not a mandate ‘FOR’ BJP as much as it is ‘AGAINST’ the ruling party. BJP just happened to be in the right state at the right time and turned out to be the beneficiary. If there was a real ‘right to reject’ option available to the electorate, it is possible that both the congress and BJP would have lost. Any way BJP should be thankful for the ‘Citizens against corruption’ for creating awareness in the electorate and be thankful to the Congress for ruining themselves. I hope the BJP understands this fact, utilizes the god given opportunity to provide sensible governance and runs the state responsibly. In case they remember their manifesto, which is unlikely, it will be a bonus for the citizens. - My letter to the Editor (Published - Navhind Times 7.3.2012)


Clean Teeth - Clean Image - Clean Sweep

In one of my previous posts I had mentioned that one of the candidates contesting the Goa assembly elections got his teeth cleaned by me before starting his campaign. (For putting up a ‘clean’ image?) One of my cousins, Ravi, had put fear in me saying that he may demand the money back if he loses. Incidentally, he won and I am sure that the ‘clean’ image helped. My fee is safe in my pocket.

Now, I have heard that politicians are extremely superstitious. IF he remembers getting his teeth cleaned - by me that is - before starting his campaign (it is not getting the teeth cleaned that matters it is the hand that did the cleaning and soiled itself in the process ) and IF the word spreads amongst his colleagues, well , there may be a long queue of candidates in front of my clinic before next elections and maybe I will be able to charge as astronomical a sum as the astrologers. Don’t frown at my wishful thinking. Politicians are known to have displayed greater stupidity.