Friday, April 17, 2009

My son finished his BDS scoring enough to secure admission to MDS in the normal course. Some well connected people tried to alter the normal course to suit their requirements and because of that, there was apprehension that the path to MDS admission for these ‘normal course’ students may not be easy. The college authorities did not budge under political pressure. Whoever was interested in changing things were not ready to give up and tried their luck in the high court in the form of a writ petition. We had to intervene. All the parents had to meet, engage a lawyer, work out strategies and in general had to keep fingers crossed and sit in the court with butterflies in our stomach. There was no need for us to hire a lawyer. To our pleasant surprise, the judge almost argued out the case on our behalf, refused to grant a stay on admissions, and went as far as indirectly advising the petitioner to withdraw!

The admissions went along the normal course. To day the admission process was over and my son has enrolled for MDS. Will the MDS qualification make such a big difference in his life? Would he not have had a good life with out it? God knows. But if it was denied- for whatever reason- it would have been a terrible disappointment for him and for all of us. Still, to what extent one needs to involve himself/herself in matters concerning the children? Do we need to actively involve ourselves to see that our children have a good life?

I remember one of the poems in Mankutimmana kagga, which says,
ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಭವಿಷ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಕಕ್ಕುಲಿತೆ ಗೊಳಬೇಡ
ಪಕ್ಕಾಗುವುದು ಭಾಗ್ಯ ಎಂತೆನ್ತೋ ಜಗದಿ
ದಕ್ಕಿತೇ ಕುರು ಪಾಂಡು ತನಯರ್ಗೆ ರಾಜ್ಯಸುಖ
ದಿಕ್ಕವರಿಗವರವರೆ ಮಂಕುತಿಮ್ಮ

The literal translation would be,
Do not get perturbed and worry about your children’s future
Everyone’s luck matures in it’s own way in this world.
Could any one ensure the pleasure of ruling the kingdom for Kauravas and Pandavas?
Each one is on his own.

Now, what is Sri DVG trying to say here? Does he mean that one need not bother about what happens to one’s children? It is futile trying to do anything for them? Everything goes according to their destiny and we only need to watch? If interested. I don’t think he means so. Sri DVG was well aware of the compulsions of ‘attachment’ or ‘maaye’. My meaning for the verse would be,

One needs to do his/her duty. Do your duty towards your children. Provide whatever is expected of you and try to put them on the right path. Anything with in reasonable limits. IF for whatever reason things do not go right, there is no need to worry your head off. “ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಭವಿಷ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಕಕ್ಕುಲಿತೆ ಗೊಳಬೇಡ , ಪಕ್ಕಾಗುವುದು ಭಾಗ್ಯ ಎನ್ತೆನ್ತೋ ಜಗದಿ".
Do not go against expected norms or ‘dharma’ to secure your wards future at the cost of others. That was what Dhritaraashtra did. But “ದಕ್ಕಿತೇ ಕುರು ಪಾಂಡು ತನಯರ್ಗೆ ರಾಜ್ಯಸುಖ ?". So many people did so many things both 'dharma' and 'adharma' to ensure that kauravas and pandavas rule their kingdom with peace. But their destiny was not in agreement.
Ultimately it is "ದಿಕ್ಕವರಿಗವರವರೆ". each one on his own.
The earlier I fully attain this attitude, the better it will be.

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