Friday, May 4, 2018

Lick Your Fingers And Be Ready!

When I was in second standard I changed my school and joined one which was a little away from our house. It wasn't very far but at the same time not a 'walkable distance' either. Then I started to take a city bus to go to school. I usually purchased a monthly concession pass but on occasions when it was not renewed in time, I had to buy a ticket. The ticket then costed five paisa and the conductor usually pocketed the coin and never issued a ticket. This, in fact was a blessing for me because, when he did issue a ticket he usually licked his finger, tore out a ticket and pushed it into my hand in a hurry. The ticket sometimes had a generous coating of his saliva and it even wet my hand. This was very disgusting for me and hence I usually hesitated before accepting the ticket and tried to get hold of a part of the ticket which was not soiled by his spit. Usually the end at which the tickets had been pinned together. In the process I dilly dallied and got scolded by the conductor for delaying him. I gingerly held the ticket by the tips of my fingers and dropped it as soon as I alighted from the bus.

I always tried to catch hold of this end of the ticket!

Unfortunately I turned out to be a dentist and was forced to spend a life time in other peoples mouths  enjoying cooling sprays of saliva on my face half a dozen times everyday, but my disgust towards finger licking has only steadily grown.

I go to the reading room and see at least half  the people reading there absentmindedly licking their fingers before turning pages. The finger lickers usually turn the pages by the right bottom corner and so, I have developed a habit of turning the pages of a borrowed book always from the top right corner!

I give a set of sheets to the xerox fellow to make copies. He gets the copies, licks his fingers, counts them and hands them over to me. Sometimes I object and try to tell him that he should not do so but he is usually surrounded by half a dozen people who are licking their fingers to check their copied sheets. I shut my mouth, accept the sheets and do whatever I can to assuage my disgust.

It is the same situation when I have to accept change from hawkers/shopkeepers and even when my patients pay me. In fact it is even worse in the clinic. Apart from the habit of finger licking to count cash, my patient's fingers are always in their mouth after the treatment either confirming that an offending tooth is not there any more or a filling has really been done! Sometimes I send them to wash their hands before paying me. But it is hopeless. So, all the notes that I receive from my patients invariably go into the formaldehyde vapour steriliser and I retrieve them after few hours!

Since most of the finger licking is for counting cash and turning pages, our banks used to be the best places to observe the habit. Every one of the workers there used to be either counting cash, handling paper slips or turning pages of a ledger! Now with  ATM machines handing over cash and ledgers having been replaced by computers, I had thought that there is not much scope for finger licking in the banks.

I went to the bank this morning for some work.  I was a bit early and the counter clerk was just then logging on to his computer. Before he logged himself in, the manager had to authorise his logging and he requested the manager to do the needful. The manager in turn had to confirm his identity by pressing his thumb on the electronic thumb print recorder attached to the computer. He pressed his thumb on the panel once, twice, thrice. Nothing happened. Then he casually licked his thumb and pressed it on the recorder and voila! There was a flash and a beep and it was done! Now I am curious to see what the ATM machine is going to do next!

Whenever I go to renew my driving licence or passport I am asked to press my thumb on this recorder and I always pressed without thinking twice. I understand there is a plan to incorporate Adhar number while buying air and train tickets and you will be required to register the thumb impression before entering the airport/ railway station. Now that we have sensitised our electronic gadgets to accept only licked thumbs, I hate to think of my fate. 

1 comment:

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.