a phone call

The telephone rings and I pick it up.
“I want an appointment today.”
“May I know who is speaking?”
“One patient.” (don’t be an idiot. Who else will want an appointment?)
“May I know your name?”
“You know me doctor. I have come to you before.”
“Tell me your name please.”
“Mrs. Kamat.” (with reluctance)
( I have at least two dozen kamats in my records)
“Which Kamat?”
“Don’t know me? You removed my tooth doctor.” (With annoyance)
“Please tell me your full name.”
“******** Kamat. Can I come today?”
“What is the trouble?”(I try to guess what I am in for)
“The tooth you removed, it is paining.”
“You mean the place where the tooth was?”
“Yes. In that place.” (can’t you understand that much?)
“When did I remove it?”
“Two-Three years back.”
“Three years back?”
“Yes doctor. Same. It is paining. “
“It can not be. Any way, you please come over. I will see.”
“When shall I come?”
“Any time between five and eight in the evening.”
“Shall I come at six?”
“Please do.”
“No. I can’t come at six. I have to take my son for tuitions.”
“Come at seven.”
“Seven’o clock my husband comes home.”
“I said any time between five and eight is OK for me.”
“Shall I come at seven thirty?”
“Fine”
“Will your clinic be empty?”
“I hope not. I do not want my clinic to be empty.”
“I will have to wait no, doctor? When there will be no patients?”
“I pray to god that ALWAYS there will be patients.”
“Ok then. I will come. Please see me first doctor”

This is one of the sample conversations that I go through everyday. If I am free, it is amusing and entertaining and some times I even try to prolong it. But if a call takes this turn when I am in the middle of some treatment and my assistant is holding the receiver to my ear, it could be very irritating. Whatever it is, I wonder at the clash of interests between me and my patients. Almost all of them hope that my clinic is empty whenever they come, and I hope that it is always full. I belong to the ‘noble’ profession of giving relief from pain, but I have to prey that people suffer, so that I can step in to provide relief, earn my living, and in the bargain get the ‘noble’ tag!